We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs
by Ssenillek Reh
Summary: It's Pirate Day, and Riku's apparently the only one not in the know. For International Talk Like A Pirate Day 2011.


**Title:** We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs  
><strong><span>Genre:<span>** Uhh. Friendship, I guess? I mean, there's no category for crack, and that's exactly what this is.  
><strong><span>Pairings:<span>** None explicitly. Riku/Sora if you want to see it. But if that's the case, you can also read it as Sora/Kairi, Riku/Kairi, or Riku/Sora/Kairi.  
><strong><span>Warnings:<span>** Pointlessness and crack, and an almost-dirty word. Also - and I don't know how this happened - it turns a bit Riku-introspective, though that wasn't at all my original intention. I read over it again and kind of went, "Huh. Would you look at that."  
><strong><span>Summary:<span>** It's Pirate Day, and Riku's apparently the only one not in the know.  
><strong><span>Disclaimer:<span>** I can't wait until KH:3Ds. I srsly can't. GAIZ, THERE'S GONNA BE HUNCHBACK OF NOOOOOOTRE DAAAAAAAAME, GAIZ. -flails-

**A/N:** Written for International Talk Like A Pirate Day (there's still FIVE MINUTES LEFT of this day in my time zone, so HA), though it kinda... diverges, I suppose, at the end. -shrugs- Oh well. Enjoy anyway.

Also, if there was a third spot for characters, Kairi'd be up there. Just saying.

* * *

><p>"Ahoy thar, matey!"<p>

Riku raises his chin from his chest (where he Was Not dozing, thank you, merely inspecting his shirt to make sure it wasn't – oh, who is he kidding, he was totally dozing) and, though he feels the corners of his mouth quirk up in that grin that only Sora manages to bring forth from him, he feels his jaw drop at the sheer lunacy that is the sight which meets his eyes.

"What in the _world_ – ?"

Oh, it's Sora, of course, but it's Sora as Riku's never before seen him. He's wearing a ridiculously large, poofy white shirt that falls almost to his knees and is belted with an equally ridiculous-looking sash. He has enormous boots that rise up to meet that ludicrous white shirt, and he's sporting an eye patch that manages to flatten half of his unruly spikes because of the way the elastic wraps around his head.

Riku's never seen anyone look more absurd or – he is mildly displeased to note – more strangely attractive. But Sora's always had that affect on him.

Riku blinks, breaking himself from his daze. "Sora, what _is_ this?"

Sora grins at him, bright, carefree, and perhaps a tad mischievous. "It be Pirate Day, ye scallywag!"

"...Pirate Day." Sora never fails to surprise him. Really, Riku thinks, he should have learned to stop underestimating him by now.

"Aye!"

Riku scowls now, the latter half of Sora's answer belatedly reaching his brain. "And just what is a 'scallywag'?"

Yes, Sora's grin is definitely mischievous. "Arrr, why don't ye come over 'ere and find out?"

Riku responds by deftly tackling him to the ground, and Sora retaliates by engaging in wrestling match number thirty-seven thousand nine hundred fifty-four of their lives. So far (in Riku's opinion, at the very least, and his is the one that counts anyway), Riku's won every one of them.

This time is no exception.

"Ri_ku_! Get off!"

Riku, smug atop his perch on Sora's chest, does not. "Where'd your pirate accent go, Sora?" he teases. His smirk is playful, though, nothing like the angry and viciously scathing one he once sported.

"Aw, shi – I mean, blast! Avast, ye scurvy dog, I'll get ye fer this!" Ignoring the fact that Riku's obviously the one in control of this situation, Sora shakes his fist up at him, narrowing his one visible eye.

"Of course you will." Riku tugs on a lock of Sora's hair with an air of great affection, and Sora scowls (though Riku knows he is inwardly pleased at the physical affection Riku so shied from, once) and flicks Riku on the arm.

"Riku! Sora! Hey!"

As one, they turn to the speaker, and Riku thinks rather forlornly that they'll never be able to do something quite that in sync again, no matter how much they practice it.

And then Riku gets a good look at Kairi's attire and promptly forgets everything about... well, everything. Because, hello, Kairi is a girl, and right now her outfit isn't letting anyone be unaware of this fact.

Sora, typically, is thoroughly unfazed, pushing at Riku slightly so he can sit up without hindrance and enthusiastically wave Kairi over. "Kairi! Arr, me beauty, you remembered!"

Kairi jogs the last few paces over to them and sits (narrowly missing Sora's shoulder and subsequent exclamation of "Hey!"), bunching up her skirts and pulling them to the side so as to not dirty them any more than strictly necessary. "Duh," she says, and she rolls her eyes, though not unkindly. She absentmindedly tugs up on a corner of her very low-cut dress. "Ye have t' look the part fer Pirate Day, an' this be the finest wench's outfit in the seven seas!"

Sora beams. Riku proceeds to shove the palms of his hands into his eye sockets – maybe the pressure will eviscerate the sight of Kairi oh-so-nonchalantly _adjusting her boobs in front of them_, because she is his pseudo-sister and... well, yeah.

Just thinking about it makes his brain kind of explode.

"Now Kairi, me lass, get this infernal landlubber off me!" Sora commands playfully, because while Sora-the-Keyblade-Master is no wimp, he's not exactly in any position to throw Riku off him – which, Riku reflects, was sort of the whole point in the first place.

"Aye aye, Cap'n!" Kairi giggles, flutters her eyelashes, and snaps off a salute before carefully getting to her knees and tackling Riku who, not expecting such an action for whatever reason (upon looking back at this moment, he declares himself an idiot and washes his hands of the whole thing), careens to the ground. He splutters and stammers exclamations of shock and surprise for a moment before wrapping an arm around her waist and wrestling her too to the ground.

Kairi can't stop giggling throughout, and Riku finds his lips have curled upward where they once would have been turned down into an annoyed frown. He shrugs off the thought and instead laughs lightly, playfully flicking Kairi's nose. She scrunches it at him in return and sticks her tongue out.

Sora, not one to ever sit back and let others have all the fun, takes both of them by surprise by launching himself at Riku a second time, effectively ensuring that the three of them are a tangled, dirty mess (albeit a happily uncaring one) on the ground.

They lie there for a while, perfectly content to bask in each others' company, ignoring how strange and possibly inappropriate they must look to any passersby, all limbs intermittently askew and interlocked, two outfits antiquated and out of place in the islands, all three covered in dirt and careless of the fact.

Riku eventually, noting the set of the sun and the rising buzz of evening insects in the air, disentangles himself from the other two and stands, stretching his cramped limbs languorously. He gallantly offers his hand to Kairi and she takes it gratefully, batting her eyelashes coyly and in an exaggerated fashion before smoothing down the wrinkles in her dress and attempting to beat the dirt out of it with little apparent luck. Riku smothers a grin at her misfortune (because he knows that, girl or not, Kairi can and, more importantly, _will_ smack him if she sees him laughing at her) and turns to Sora, who instead of getting to his feet has sprawled out along the ground even more, putting his arms behind his head and closing his eyes serenely. He offhandedly pulls off the eye patch, carelessly stuffing it in his pocket, while his hair, free of confinements, bounces back to its usual flamboyant vivacity.

Riku doesn't bother hiding his grin. He nudges at Sora's side with a toe, and Sora cracks one eye open at him. "Hm?"

"Next time, tell me about Pirate Day and I'll dress up with you," Riku says, and he relishes the way both of Sora's eyes open wide in shock and stay wide with his excited pleasure.

"Awesome! You really mean that?"

Riku smirks, and this time it's got a hint of the mercilessness that was a constant undercurrent of his actions in the past – but it's mostly overshadowed by the mirth he knows is showing in his eyes, can feel from the way they're crinkled at the edges. "Sure. I'll be the captain, and you can be one of my deckhands."

"Riku!" A brief tussle ensues, brief because neither of them are very set on winning, for a change, and because Kairi has given up on her dress for now and has taken to kicking at their ankles to stop, though her smile belies her insistence.

"Fine. You can be my first mate." Riku grins at the triumph leaking through Sora's expression and posture and promptly pokes him in the chest, making Sora bark a short laugh of surprised indignation before throwing his arm around Riku's neck and squeezing their sides together tightly.

"First mate's alright, I s'pose." And Sora grins another carefree grin at him, one that makes him feel kind of warm and squishy-but-not-gross on the inside and kind of glad that Sora never gave up looking for him.

Kairi interrupts the moment (and for a fleeting second, Riku is appreciative of this fact) by hooking herself onto their weaved-together arms and raising her feet from the ground, allowing their combined strength to hold her weight. "Yeah, Sora, and then we'll come up with a plan for ultimate mutiny," she says in a conspiratorial stage whisper, winking slyly at Riku when he casts a disgruntled look at her.

Sora's eyes light up at the suggestion. "Yeah, that's a great idea!" he crows, and he delightedly adds a bit of a skip to his steps, making Riku stumble and Kairi almost fall. Riku starts to scowl, but his features lighten and he inadvertently grins at Sora's stammering apology (stammering because he's trying hard not to laugh, and Riku has to give him points for that) and Kairi's obvious amusement.

"You guys," he huffs, jerking his head slightly to get the bangs out of his eyes. He smiles at them, a genuinely happy smile, and he loves how both of them are so completely overjoyed whenever he looks at them like this. "Don't ever change."

"We won't!" they chorus, and then they laugh together.

And Riku's never been happier.


End file.
